Introducing the Farmers

You wanted style and class, grace and good-looks. Well— we hunted this city high and low to find the most talented 'stache-farmers around. And (even though we say so ourselves) we think we've managed to find some of the hottest would-be hirsutes on the west coast.

So while we prep them, give them a beer and a little shoulder rub, tell them they can do it (o! yes they can!) and show them how to use the mustache comb, why don't you have a little look at these fine lads (and ladesses) in all their clean-shaven glory and decide which one you're going to back. Think of it as "America's Next Top 'Stache-Farmer" and get your fingers on those PayPal links...

CHRIS

Sponsor Chris here

Chris is 23 and hails from Kearney, Missouri. He just moved to San Francisco and is currently interning at McSweeney's. Chris is hoping his mustache will improve his poker face, but he'll take what he can get. He says about the contest: "Not shaving my upper lip is the least I can do for charity. Really."

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TOM

Sponsor Tom here

In 1987, Richard Urwin embarked on a solemn task. Searching for a home for himself and his young family, he refused to shave his upper lip until the family was settled in a new home, firmly established in the middle of Middle England. Twenty years later I, his son, will carry on this tradition for equally worthy, equally arbitrary reasons. A displaced, misplaced English student of American literature with slightly pretentious tastes in music and a keen sense of the absurd, particularly regarding my own appearance, I aim to cultivate a lip-forest, or at least a lip-prairie, just to see if it can be done. And, like, to help the kids. Yes… The kids.

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JEAN-CLAUDE

Sponsor Jean-Claude here

6 foot tall shooting guard. SF native. Father of a three-year old girl. Married to 826 Valencia head honcho and thus expecting massive favoritism when it comes time for prizes. Mustache experience is limited to the infrequent goatee. Never has he dared the solo mustache. Jean-Claude is nervous.

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BUD
Sponsor Bud here

Hailing from "The State Of The Free", aka Georgia, Bud has been living and working in the Bay Area for the last four years. Initially a chef, and now head honcho at a salumeria (making pigs into prosciutto), he found out about this contest from his ladyfriend who is an intern at the veritable 826.

Bud has had a love affair with facial hair for the past decade. Sideburns, soul patch, fully-fledged beard - all have been sported in recent times. In fact the 'burns and the patch are currently "on face". Mustaches have had momentary outings, but only on private view in front of the mirror when a beard was being razored out of existence. This is the first time his 'stache will a) be made public and b) have a lifespan longer than a gadfly.

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JOEL

Sponsor Joel here

Joel Gryniewski grows mustaches for money. It’s his calling.

The native Minnesotan sprouted his first ‘stache in 2004 as part of a hazing ritual for a Minneapolis ad agency. The hazing culminated when Joel was forced to put his prickly upper lip to work by operating a one-man kissing booth in a busy pedestrian mall. Charging “a nickel for a tickle,” Joel raked in a respectable $2.45 in just one hour—a testament to the universal appeal of a well-groomed soup-strainer.

Until he can support himself on mustache-related income alone, Joel is also a freelance writer.

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ELLEN

Sponsor Ellen here

Ellen Goodenow is a writer/editor living in San Francisco. She has authored numerous educational books for children including titles such as the Golden Lamp-winning Place Value Mysteries and My Weather Journal. A proud graduate of Barnard College, her goal in joining the Mustache-a-Thon is to prove to young girls that a woman really can do anything a man can— if not better, then at least with terrific enthusiasm. She asks you to please give her some money!

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ADAM

Sponsor Adam here

Adam is 22 and from suburban Chicago, Illinois. His facial hair can best be described as glorified peach fuzz. At the end of six weeks he hopes to have a French-artist-grade mustache. Adam is the McSweeney's/Believer/Wholphin Customer Service Rep. He is a lifelong Chicago Bears fan, and has trouble digesting flour tortillas. He says about the contest: "Hi Mom, hi Dad."

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NATE

Sponsor Nate here

Nate Embretson started growing facial hair at a very early age. Nate is very proud of the fact that he is a naturally hairy man, and that his early days of ‘follicle farming’ were met with wonder and awe by his peers. Nate grew his first facial formation at the tender age of 16, when he grew a Goat. This chin fur gave Nate the added confidence that helped him become the person he is today. After the Goat, Nate started experimenting with sideburns. He grew long sideburns, bushy sideburns, skinny, and fat sideburns. These “glory strips” as Nate liked to call them helped him meet new friends, and he soon graduated to more sophisticated forms. Nate's face has entertained beards, mutton chops, side-locks, and of course the elusive and prized mustache over the years. He is honored to be among the proud mustache wearers for the benefits of education at 826, and hopes that his participation will inspire others to do the same.

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STEVE

Sponsor Steve here

Steve is 33 years old and has avoided all facial hair in his happy life (if you don't count crazy eyebrows). Born in Ohio, raised in VA, educated in NC. Steve has lived in Seattle, Boston, and now San Francisco. He spends his days trying to make PROTRADE.com the best it can be for sports fans. A sports-theme mustache may be in order.

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EVAN

Sponsor Evan here

Hello lovers of the stache! The man you see before you's name is Evan Kinkel and he is a tutor at 826. Evan fancies a beard, but is ready to lose the chin action for a good cause. He has been training for this since puberty, and also has ordered a secret mustache serum from Germany to unleash in the final weeks, so beware! The "Rollie Fingers" is the style he is growing for. Evan recently saw the film "La Moustache" and is worried that even after the contest has ended he may not be able to give up his newly adorned upper lip.

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JASON

Sponsor Jason here

Jason is a Bay Area native who spent his youth touring the globe in spandex jumpsuits as a downhill ski racer. As a result, he knows no shame. An architect by trade, Jason enjoys riding motorcycles and visiting aquariums in his spare time. He enhances each and every meal with a generous sprinkling of Tabasco. Yeow!

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GRAHME

Sponsor Grahme here

Grahme Smith is a fat, hairy, science teacher living in the Mission. One of the happiest times of Grahme's life was when he grew out his stash and sat in a Speedo on the beaches of Brazil. Grahme in his banana yellow suit, enormous gut and Magnum P.I. stash was a thing of beauty. He is entering the Mustache-a-Thon to spread the word to today’s youth that mustaches, like literacy, are amazing things that when cultivated can bring great joy.

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JON

Sponsor Jon here

Jonathan Perkins enjoys roaming and quantifying the desert landscapes of the Colorado Plateau, and looks forward to the companionship only a well-groomed mustache can provide on those lonesome nights under the big skies of the American Southwest.

A graduating senior at San Francisco State University, Jonathan will conclude his undergraduate academic career in high, mustachioed style. He prefers to think of it more as a new beginning, though, and enjoys speculating the many opportunities the adult world will provide for his newly-ornamented face.

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RICK

Sponsor Rick here

Rick Corteville has been involved in professional mustache growing for the past 20 years. Raised by wolves in caves near the mountainous regions outside of Dresden, Germany, Rick learned the art of hair growing at a young age. After winning many amateur competitions, he broke into the professional scene when, in 1986, he carved the entire Bill of Rights into his mustache. This event is often recorded as one of the top 10 best hair growing projects in the continental United States. Forced out of the sport in 2001 due to a follicle steroid controversy, Rick is coming out of retirement to raise money for kids. Wish him luck!

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JB

Sponsor JB here

It took JB 5 years to achieve the perfect Mickey Spillane 5 o'clock shadow. JB is a calico by nature with red, amber & sandy blonde tones sprinkled about his person. JB is a proud Mill Valley Ex-Patriot & has lived the last 9 years in San Francisco's Richmond district where whiskey & movie theaters beckon. JB buys cheese as a Co-Owner of the Sunset district's famous Other Avenues Food Store (otheravenues.coop) .

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CHARLES

Sponsor Charles here

Charles moved here from NYC 5 years ago and has patiently waited to explore his bohemian side. After spending a month in South America admiring how proudly the Argetine men carry their mustaches he has been looking for an excuse to grow one.

This fundraiser from 826 provides that opportunity, and—oh yeah—helps raise money for kids. It's really all about the kids.....so dig deep!

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RHODES

Sponsor Rhodes here

Rhodes moved to Frisco to be a farmer: there were way too many in Pennsylvania to compete with. The Mustache-a-Thon is much more his cup of Jasmine tea than a marathon, since Rhodes prefers bikes to feet. Plus, his sister Metthea has always wanted him to grow a mustache, at times hosting mustache-parties as encouragement, with the smell of Sharpie markers lingering in the air. As the competition heats up, Rhodes hopes to maintain a stiff upper lip. In the true spirit of charity, he will also take bids from friends and family who want him to shave-- bring on the bets!

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JEFF

Sponsor Jeff here

Jeff is a San Francisco native, salesman and sometime artist. He's not a big fan of books and doesn't care for kids at all, but he loves all things pirate so is doing his part to put the AARRRRRHH back in reading.

Why sponsor his 'stache? A straight, chubby, bald man living in San Francisco; growing a walrus mustache should be the last thing on his mind, but this competitor's composition, pure grit.